it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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