The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
