Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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