I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
