Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
