I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
