Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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