She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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