I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize