I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
