piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
"it" just moved
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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