we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I need moral support for this bender
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
