Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
