You made me cry and you don't even care
we're chasing vodka with high fives
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
