And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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