I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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