I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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