But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
