Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
