So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
