were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
