i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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