I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
