I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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