Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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