but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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