how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
