I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
