Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
