Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
