I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
