dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
