I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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