Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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