matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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