i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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