If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
