Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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