you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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