Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
