All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize