So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
