if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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