We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
