NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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