how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
