guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
