how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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