i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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