btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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