are you still at the devil's house?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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