She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
