How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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