just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
my liver is dry heaving
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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