i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize