maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my sisters under your porch take her home
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
