kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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