Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I need a beard to bite.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
