Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
