she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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