your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
