How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
