Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My dad is sitting where you rode me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
