Do you still have your period?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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