Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize