At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
